After a “tough” journey, here comes my last post on the series.
Believe it or not, it was actually quite hard to write those other post about Eunice. It brought me back many memories… And not good ones.
So yes, time to finish this dumb candy-ass crap and get to the real posting after the feels!
Therefore, after speaking about three girls with slightly identical stories between them, get ready… Because I’m going out of the box this time.
The next “case” is far from being normal.
But, before I start the writing, I guess I need a good random unrelated intro for this next “journey”…
I will award you with nothing if you find out in what movie is this based on.
Swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa swa… (Yes, it’s a helicopter)
Dim, dim, dim, dim…
Na na na nanananana na na na nanananaana nanna na na na nananana
Dum dum dum na na na na na dum dum dum
This is the end
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of all our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I will never look into your eyes… Again.
Like I said before, it’s totally unrelated, but this post required an awesome intro based on an awesome movie. And please, read the rest of it with Martin Sheen’s voice. It sounds more epic that way.
So, “late 2nd period, 2011”. If you read my last post, you most likely know how stuff was.
Eunice and Mimoso were still in a relationship, many of my other classmates also were in relationships, and I was alone.
Wait… I am still alone. Eh, too bad.
Of course, while I couldn’t change my appearance and my own genetic, I could certainly blame myself for sometimes being so lonely at school.
Mostly due to my MP3.
Like I said on the last post, I ended up becoming extremely addicted to my MP3. Yes, I know, it isolates you from society and builds walls around you and stuff, but hey… The wall was already there anyways, and like I also said on my last post, “society” was basically most of my friends having fun with their “honeys”.
It was better to stay off alone and listen to my music rather than being around all those couples kissing each other. I don’t like being a third wheel, either way. Well, who does?
Plus, it’s not like I was totally alone. I still spoke with my friends - At least the ones who weren’t busy having the time of their lives with their girls - And I also have more friends besides school.
Alright, not many, but I have some.
And I also had a project due to the end of the year. I was supposed to do “something” about child soldiers: Hence the name of the project, Younger Warfare.
Of course, my first idea (Typical from my ingenuous mind) was to make a movie.
But then I remembered how, being more than a few months away from the end of the year, it would be hard to make a movie like that.
So I decided to stick with writing a small book (Well, at the time more like a “small text”). At least I didn’t had to pay nothing for SFX and actors and all of that.
Still, I wasn’t sure of how the story line itself would be.
My first idea was to write about a gang of children (Of course, with GANGSTA GUNS and GANGSTA CAR CHASES and stuff) who’d operate around my neighborhood and a kid “coincidentally” similar to me who would face them all and bring their gang down to justice. All of this in the end would culminate in a awesome epic battle in the middle of a forest where their ammo bunker would be and where I - I mean, the protagonist, would end their malicious operations once and for all by defeating their leader!
For some reason, I always pictured the gang leader as Mimoso. Hmmm… Why would it be?
Anyways, that was only my first idea, and far from being the final one. I didn’t thought much about it in back then. I mean, I still had my time until the end of the year…
But well, that was how things were. Overall, I was mostly isolated and slightly lost in ideas. And while I got some good grades at the time, I was mostly busy obviously thinking about Eunice and in how my life would be a sea of roses if she was with me.
That was when I saw her. Not Eunice, another person.
Evidently, that person had always been there before, on that school. Yet… I only noticed her, I think, on the very last week before the Easter vacations ended.
Our Math class was over. I was going downstairs, without paying much attention to the surroundings as usual… When I saw her, walking through the corridor and speaking with some friend.
In fact, I will make it clear from this point that she is indeed pretty cute. Yet… That was the only thing I knew before that day. A cute girl… Like many in that school, or may I say, in any other school.
I guess I was only surprised by the sight of her that day…
… Because she was wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt.
That’s right. A damn t-shirt with what’s possibly the most iconic symbol in the history of rock was the main reason for me to actually pay attention to her.
As you might have already realized, I was (And I still am) obsessed with classic rock, and Rolling Stones are by far one of my 60’s/70’s favorite bands.
No, I don’t know as much about the Stones as I know about Floyd or The Doors, but songs like “Satisfaction”, “Gimme Shelter”, “Paint it Black”, “Sympathy for the Devil”, “Start me up”, among some others, are eternally stuck in my mind and in my heart.
Wow, that was kinda deep…
Still, there was the chance of her not even knowing what she was wearing.
No, the scene above didn’t happen. It is just a supposition of what could have happened if I spoke to her the day she was wearing the t-shirt.
And please note that she wasn’t ALWAYS wearing the Rolling Stones t-shirt, but since I think it looks fine, I will keep it in the next drawings.
In fact, it’s kinda curious that I remember her better than I remember of anything of what I was supposed to learn during classes, and yet I was still one of the best students.
Don’t misinterpret ”one of the best” as a “great student”, though. I was only one of the best students in my class because, like I said on Eunice’s post, at least half of the class was only in school to “walk the books” (At least the ones who even cared about bringing books). Therefore, I was only good due to the general amount of awful students that made me look good in comparison.
I think that, if I was in a better class, I wouldn’t probably have any “4’s” or “5’s” at the end of the year.
Anyways, for some bloody reason it seemed like I started to see that girl much more often since that day.
Or well, at least I would some (Many) times stumble upon her during the time between classes, walk by and not resisting to stare at her out of curiosity…
… And she would stare back, resulting in a short moment of quick awkward eye contact.
And yes, that ended up happening quite often.
I wonder how much of a creeper I might have looked like to her.
Ha, sorry, I couldn’t resist on making a bad Minecraft joke here.
But yes, I did casually had those awkward moments of exchanging strange eye contact with her. I wouldn’t call it an obsession or an infatuation, though. I guess that, during that time, I was just mostly intrigued after seeing her wearing the damn t-shirt.
In the remote case if she did knew what she was wearing, could that mean there was still a chance of not every girl in my age being deaf with the nowadays trash generally called “music”?
Still, “likes” are just “likes”. Whether she liked the Stones or not, I don’t think it was enough for me to fall for her.
I didn’t even knew her name!
Either way, the Easter vacations soon begun.
Actually, I don’t remember much from that Easter vacation. The best I recall was going to Algarve for a few weeks, my dad buying Daft Punk’s TRON Legacy soundtrack and hearing it all the way (Which is coincidentally what I’m hearing right now - And which makes every single word I write look epic), me buying a dumb MP5 toy with lots of attachments that were used to customize some of my airsoft guns, rethink life (As if I was in middle age) and listen to tons of Pink Floyd while watching the sea.
“Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air…”
And yes, in case if, even with at least a Floyd reference per post and with “me” always wearing a Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt, you didn’t realize that Floyd is my favorite band… Well, it is, so now you know.
But yes, my Easter vacations were overall pretty sh*tty.
I don’t like Algarve at all. While it’s probably the part of Portugal that attracts tourists the most, it’s also a quite awful place. I’m not much of a fan of beaches, either.
And the rest of the Easter was pretty much staying in my computer and playing videogames all the time.
Oh, and I bought Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 at the beginning of the vacations. Finished the campaign on my first play in Veteran in 3 days LIKE A BOSS, got “pwnd” hard at Multiplayer and until today I couldn’t finish all the Spec Ops.
Still, it’s an awesome game and it was certainly the highlight of my Easter.
Yes, sitting in front of a screen, shooting Russians, Op40’s and favela gangsters… Was the best thing I did. It was almost as good as the fast-paced days of laying in my hotel bed in Algarve, waiting for my parents to take me somewhere.
And even without all of that… I can’t say it was exactly an awful Easter. It was boring, but at least it helped me to get my mind off school - For a few days.
Of course that, after two weeks, I had to get back “on duty”.
Classes were getting duller. On that last period, wherever I had good or bad grades, I just didn’t care.
In fact, I remember the only negative evaluation I got was in “Natural Sciences”, mostly because, like I exemplified above, the only matter the teacher spoke about was sexuality.
I seriously don’t like speaking about sex. Not in front of adults.
I spent most of my classes drawing. Urban landscapes, robots, guns, jets… Pretty much any crap that came out of my mind.
Don’t get me wrong though, just because I drown (And still draw) a lot, it doesn’t mean I have any talent. I am kinda decent in drawing cities and Transformers, but I suck on drawing all the other things.
I just like drawing because… I don’t know why, really. There’s something in the blank paper and in the pen that attracts me. Something that makes me want to pass what’s in my mind to the paper. Wherever it’s good or not.
In other words, that’s the #1 reason of why I decided NOT to study arts. I’d love to, but I recognized I don’t have the talent.
Anyways, the “worst” was that, even after two weeks…
… When I came back to school, the socially awkward stares while passing next to the girl were still constantly happening.
I couldn’t resist looking at her nearly every time I walked by. She’d look back with her “look of disapproval” and cross eyes with me for a few moments before one of us just looked away.
I know. It was “weird”.
I don’t think so.
To be honest, I think it was quite normal.
I was having a depressing time, part of me trying to get Eunice out of my mind and the other part of me making schemes to get Mimoso out of the way.
I can only blame my brain for always starring at the girl. I guess I was just so “Dazed and Confused”… That I ended up seeing something more in that girl, rather than a “Perfect Stranger” I’d walk by everyday.
I know, I know, these things are all awkward. Feelings are… Strange. Especially when you simply can’t explain them.
So, it was all kept on stares, until one day when I stumbled upon the Facebook of that girl.
Well… This is when crap gets serious. I’m not sure if I should mention her name here.
I spoke about Inês, Claudia and Eunice ‘til here without any problem. Yet, If I mention her name, I’m not sure if she would be okay with it.
So, for safety reasons, I will just call her Anon. Yes, it’s an abbreviation for ”Anonymous”.
More than her name, I also found out that…
… She was an otaku.
I’m pretty sure that almost everyone is familiarized with the term, but in case if you never interneted before and don’t know what “otaku” means, then it’s pretty much the Japanese equivalent of “nerd”.
Except that, while the term nerd ranges from book-addicted people to Star Wars geeks (Those guys who take every single corner of the expanded universe into account), otaku is generally attributed to people obsessed with mangás and animes.
That came as a surprise to me, mostly because I never imagined there could be an otaku on that school.
Not that I was much into the anime fandom, either. To be quite honest, I was never really an anime fan before.
It’s not that I don’t like anime. I’ve always seen the Japanese culture as something… Interesting. Not just in terms of mangás and animes, but the Japanese media overall as an extremely unique culture… Which I sadly never had much contact to begin with.
Specially when it comes to Japanese animation.
So, like I said, I was mostly surprised. Surprised and intrigued by this girl.
I guess I was mostly for finding the Japanese synonym for a “nerd” in that school.
It kept on going like that: Some thoughtful stares in the playground, some pass-bys… Nothing amazing, nothing unusual, just SSDD.
While time passed, something new came by. One day during arts class, the teacher informed me that…
But that was bloody amazing! A 70’s ball! I immediately made up the whole thing in my mind…
… Of course, there was a little “something else”, as always.
Well… That sucked.
And it’s not what I wanted.
The list WAS MINE! I don’t care if the suggested theme was “disco”… The. Ball. Would. Rock.
A 70’s ball… A perfect idea for a second, even if it was just to watch from a distance without a pair… And one that I wasn’t gonna let get ruined by disco.
At least that was my idea, and what I would do until the point I was allowed to.
And I had another idea.
So, there was the girl with the Rolling Stones shirt. And there was the list I had to do. Why not combine both?
And that’s when the “first encounter” came.
I had her contact on Facebook. I was just simply going to be some guy who saw her with the t-shirt, presumed she liked classic 60’s/70’s rock and asked her to help me choose the songs for the ballad.
To be quite honest… No, I don’t think that’s weird.
Not at all.
I mean… What’s wrong on asking someone for suggestions?
Maybe it’s the way I asked for them.
The following is the translation of the message i sent her in Facebook. Get ready, “Cool story, bro” ahead.
That was it.
I know, really. It’s hard to look back and not to think of how much of a weird dumb ass I acted when all I wanted to ask was “Hey, I saw you once with a Rolling Stones t-shirt! If you know some 70’s rock, can you please help me with choosing the ball songs?”
I… I can’t explain in what the bloody hell was I thinking when I wrote that message.
I really was mad.
I don’t know how the hell it sounded good while I wrote it.
And when I did, it was already kinda late. My crazy message had already been sent. All I could do now was wait for the reply.
And play LA Noire while I waited for it.
And after a few minutes of Arson, she replied.
Wait… What? A stalker?
How the hell was I a “stalker”?
Isn’t a stalker an individual that obsessively follows, observes and violates the privacy of someone?
Well… Yes, I crossed eyes with her sometimes. And I sent her a message in Facebook.
But I don’t remember following her, spying on her or anything else. I mean, isn’t that what a stalker does?
Still, I resisted the urge of getting mad and criticize the name “stalker”, and I gently (Well, as gentle as I could have been) replied to her.
And that was it. At least for a while.
At the end of the night, I though for a moment about what I’ve done and what I’ve written to Anon.
Why did I act that way?
What made me write all that crap?
Was I obsessed with her? Was I merely interested in her? Was it only the expectation of a friend in that school that had similarly nerdy interests to mine?
What was it?
I will go with my last option. I was still kinda hit by the Eunice thing, with typical retarded mid-14’s (Once again, speaking like if it was a period I passed through decades ago) thoughts, feeling as if no one understood my weirdness and all that bull crap. Maybe I saw in her… someone a bit like me. At least when it comes to “weird taste”, as seen to most of the school.
… I DIDN’T SAID I FELT FOR HER OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU TOOK THAT IDEA NO I DIDN’T I SWEAR I MEAN SHE WAS JUST THE PRETTY GIRL I PASSED BY SOME DAYS THERE WAS NO WAY I MADE ALL OF THAT BECAUSE I LIKED HER NO…
… Kay, breathe… Breathe in the air… Aham, back to the story.
I obviously avoided looking at her during the next days. Sometimes, a quick stare would slip by, but not much more than that.
If that was what she called stalking, fine, I wouldn’t insist more about it.
What could I possibly want from Anon, either way? She was just a cute (Yes, I have no problem in saying she was cute) student from my school that I scared away with my “charm”. Eh, not a big deal. And I could obviously do the list by myself.
And I had other things to take care of.
Like that stupid story I had to write.
So I put all my “strengths” onto it and in a few nights (Around 1 week or so) I did what I should have been working on the whole year.
Now, while the story I wrote wasn’t THAT long (Approximately 20000 words, 39 pages in Office Word and around 100 pages when converted into a typical mid-sized book), no, I obviously won’t translate the actual entire book and re-post it here. Not just because it is, like I said, quite big, but because it also sucks.
Ok, it isn’t a complete failure, there is some stuff in it that I would call decent. And the storyline itself in a whole, while it may not be the most creative thing, may have some potential for a movie script or something like that.
Plus, I am planning on re-writing the whole thing. There were some details and scenes I just didn’t wrote down in the original history because I simply didn’t have the time (At least not from the moment I started to write it) to do so. And yes, I may translate that “good version” and post it here, when I finish it, of course.
I will try to abridge the story:
So, there was this kid named Félix in his 14’s. The kind of kid who plays lots of First Person Shooters and likes Pink Floyd.
… No! How did you got that idea? What makes you think the kid was “inspired” in me?
I mean, yes… He liked TWO things I liked… But at least he had a social life. And didn’t have a beard. So.. I guess that is enough to make a difference.
Anyways, Félix is the protagonist, and yes, it’s the history told from his point of view. He had just finished the 9th grade and the book starts with him getting ready for a finalists field trip to Africa (Organized by his Geography teacher) where he was going to visit a ONU base with some of his “meaningless” classmates who don’t interact with the main storyline (Represented above). Besides him, in the plane there were also going some other finalist 9th graders from his same school…
… Including a black haired otaku girl that, on first contact with the protagonist, immediately accuses him of being a “stalker”
All right, it’s no use to lie: The character’s appearance and initial attitudes towards Félix were partially inspired by Anon.
So what? I just thought of the meaningless case I had passed through and added a bit of paranoia to the character.
I didn’t know much about Anon to even be able to call her an “inspiration”, either way. And also, there are some meaningful differences between what I knew from the IRL person and the character, that I will mention soon.
Of course, the girl - Whose name is Bianca - And Félix eventually meet during the flight to Africa, and end up having at fist a typical socially awkward conversation.
Then some stuff happens (Stuff that I don’t want to describe right now because, according to the few people who read it, it was one of the best parts of the story - And therefore, for me, one of the few that didn’t suck and that I don’t want to spoil until I finish the corrected version)…
… And they end up both together by themselves.
In the middle of an African jungle.
… Ok, before someone starts to have perverted thoughts, there’s no kinky stuff in the novel.
In fact, no, Bianca and Félix don’t end up in each others arms, kiss or even slightly fall for the other in any moment of the story. I tried to get away from a teen drama as far as I could, and I think I was successful, at least in that point.
And of course, since the objective was to do a work about child soldiers…
… Bianca and Félix eventually get captured by a bunch of armed kids speaking in a native language (AKA Afrikaans, translated with Google) who “nicely” escort them to their tribe’s base.
Without much of an explanation for all that was going on, they are presented to the kids leader and given orders.
Bianca is accused of being a useless ugly bitch, for being… Well, white (I think it’s needless to say that from the moment they arrived they became the only white people on the base) and therefore not even useful for satisfying the soldiers sexual needs. Without any further hesitation, she is sent to the kitchen base and becomes absent in for the next chapters.
Félix is sent to infantry, to be used as a child solider against the enemy.
In the dorms, on his first night there, Félix meets Jawaad, a kid from Angola who also speaks Portuguese (Yeah, it’s all translated to English here, but on the original novel it’s obviously Portuguese) and explains what happened to all those kids who were also in infantry.
In Angola, Jawaad’s dad had died and was “replaced” by a white man who was always kicking his ass. Desperate for a better life, Jawaad ran to some big black guys who promised him a life full of success and glory - And since then, he was kidnapped by this tribe called the “Moordenaars” (Direct Afrikaans translation for “Murders”) and trained to be… Well, duh, a young murder.
The Moordenaars, at least according to Jawaad, are the greatest tribe in middle Africa, popular for their power and their huge army of ruthless “young warriors”. Besides the Moordenaars in Africa, there’s also the Gewelddadige-Reëls, veterans from the Portuguese Colonial War, who don’t possess as many child soldiers like the Moordenaars, since they are mostly weapons dealers.
And there was evidently a bunch of other African-urban armies I didn’t bother to even speak about in the novel, since the story is mostly focused on the Moordenaars, with a small appearance of the Gewelddadige-Reëls and another longer one from a non-African army who I will mention about soon.
In a few days, after being “defeated” by fear, Félix is transformed into a killing machine. We get a few chapters of him training in the base, killing a few Gewelddadige-Reëls and eating the daily Moordenaars healthy meal - Bread and soup. No biggie, only his mind and self consciousness being slowly corrupted.
Until NATO finds out about the Moordenaars military illegal operations in Africa.
Of course, this leads to the dispatch of US Marines to the location (The third and last intervening army in the action) - Which is when Félix wakes up from this violent fantasy, remembers all that he learned from Call of Duty and Battlefield (i.e… “If the Americans find out our base, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”) and realizes that if he doesn’t get out of that place soon then he’s pretty much f*cked, like everyone inside.
Of course not Jawaad or even anyone else believes in his description of “non-piloted bombers” and “105mm cannons in huge planes”, which leads to the conclusion that Félix must get out of there by himself.
Or well… Maybe not totally by himself.
During the last dinner, Bianca finally re-appears as a servant giving the food to the “team” and discretely passes Félix a paper, calling him to meet her at the kitchen that night.
Basically, after some planning they successfully murder the guards, steal their weapons, kill the “kids leader” and escape in a jeep.
In fact, during this chapter Bianca is represented as being much colder than Félix - While the latter tries to avoid most of the conflicts, to turn the child soldiers against their leaders and to start an uprising so they could escape “stealthy” in the middle of the confusion, Bianca on the other hand is extremely malefic, going straight into the enemies (Wherever unprovoked or not), getting the biggest number of body count she can among the uprising, taking advantage of catching the leader unarmed just to have her sweet revenge for being called a “useless bitch” and not really giving a damn about whoever stayed behind or not.
I think this is the main characteristic that distinguishes the fictional character from Anon. I mean… I don’t exactly know Anon’s personality, and I’m not sure if she would be THAT cold and malefic if she was handed a gun.
And had her life depending on it.
Anyways, the important is, they escape.
After some boring walking around the jungle while looking for the NATO base, Bianca expresses “the rest” of her dark side to Félix, describing how much she hated criminals, how much the world was rotten and how glad she was for murdering all those people, especially the leader.
Yeah, a female Light Yagami figure, kinda of.
And after a few days of insanity in the jungle, while looking for the damn base, they finally find it.
And the novel ends with both alive and happy, flying back to Portugal in a Chinook against the sunset (But wait, if they are going North shouldn’t the sun be… Ah, never mind, screw logic), with Félix reflecting about how they will be considered heroes when they arrive home, even after the horrible things they had to do and also thinking about how war won’t ever stop if “even the youth have to press the trigger”.
Well, that’s it.
Wow… I’m not sure if this abridged version makes the story sound better or worse than it actually is.
Overall, I will call it an average work. Had potential, decent given the short time I had to deal with it, with interesting moments, yet it certainly needs lots of work to make it up for it’s premise.
And given the full state of the novel, it’s certainly far from being publishing-worthy. Maybe on the “redux” I will be able to take it up to that level…
Well, let’s jump to the last few days of classes, the release day of Younger Warfare - Or, in other words, the day where I would give it to the teacher.
It was a bit like this…
Wherever I liked it or not, the teacher had a point. I though the novel itself was average, and even if everyone else thought it was great, I actually didn’t work on it during the class. So, good or not, it wasn’t a school work.
Of course, on that day, I didn’t just show the novel to the teacher, I also shared it with some of my friends.
… Including my cyber Brazilian friend Miguel. If you’ve read the previous posts, you may remember him from “Operation Young Lust”.
As seen above, he read the whole thing and liked it. The problem is…
… So had I also told him about the “Anon case” a few days ago.
And he soon identified the similarities between the character Bianca and Anon
And, like friends usually do, he decided to troll me, discovering her Facebook profile and sending her a few messages revealing what I’ve wrote about that similar character. Something that he told me a few days after the school year was over.
SON OF A… I mean, the similarities weren’t THAT coherent, and like I said before, I seriously don’t consider Anon as a full inspiration for Bianca, but if she even got to consider it then I was screwed!
After him copy-pasting the messages, solving that with Miguel on a 1x1 in Black Ops and after we buried the hatchet, I still had to clean up his mess. He volunteered to do so, but I decided to make use of the situation to patch things up between Anon and me.
So I went to Facebook and…
(Get ready, yet another “Cool story, bro” ahead)
It wasn’t as bad as the original message, I guess.
At least, like I hoped it would, it had a rather positive effect.
Well… At least I took her away from the mentality of me being a stalker.
And she seemed to be interested in reading my story!
Slightly interesting a girl who isn’t from my family in something I made… Well, that’s an accomplishment, at least.
So I kept on messaging…
Well, there went my chance of female non-family feedback about my work.
That was the last thing I sent to her, for some time. So, at least things were now peaceful between us. I can’t say we were friends or acquaintances, but even although she ended up not giving a damn about my “long” novel, at least she didn’t saw me as a weirdo no more.
At least I think so.
And still, there was something else, something that intrigued me in her.
You know when you can’t take a person off your mind? Not simply because she is pretty, but as if she represented some sort of unreachable, interesting pole?
I guess I still found her a curious person. Even although the school year was over and I will most likely never see her again.
As if she was the one in fifty million who could help us to be free.
No, she didn’t die on TV.
So, the summer vacations kept on going. And not many stuff changed.
Well, Anon painted her hair red, for what I saw on the 9th grade final exams day.
And that was the last time I saw her, or at least IRL.
Still, she appeared online quite often.
Not that it meant much, either. What the hell was I gonna say to her? Specially when I have nothing to speak about.
yet, I was STILL intrigued by her. And I had a contact who could help me to understand her.
Eunice herself - Yes, even after that cold IRL ending I spoke about, like I mentioned, she still appears online frequently and we usually speak to each other. And since she and Anon were friends on Facebook, she could have known something…
After that, me and Eunice spoke some more times about Anon. She didn’t say much - Seemed like her and Anon were actually good friends and she didn’t want to compromise everything she knew about Anon to me.
That’s when I started to think a bit about her. Well, at least in a logical way.
So, there was the girl. Pretty, now red-haired, liked mangá, sounded like she had a good musical taste. Therefore, while the school years “still existed”…
… It sounded like she could have been, at the very least, a good friend.
Seriously, for the Intel I got she had been on that school since the 8th grade. If, during the times I wasn’t so fugly, I had attempted to at least know her…
Errm, I mean, I could have tried a less radical approach on the 8th grade.
But NO! I was too busy giving a damn about the rest of the world.
I know, what a waste.
Who am I kidding?
I was never less “fugly”. And even if I had attempted something a bit sooner, I’d still look like a freak anyway.
Heck… Maybe that was it.
Maybe I actually felt for her?
Yeah… It was possible that, during the event of trying to find out who she was and what was behind her intriguing look, I may have become interested in her.
And in the drawings above I destroyed my own room while thinking about it for no reason other than to look bad-ass and reference “One of my turns”.
But yeah, although with the room still intact, there I was.
I had just realized how much of a disgrace I was for my “ex-school”, my family and my country.
Falling for a girl who I will most likely never see again… It was shameful.
Heck, that could I do now? The best thing I could do was to suck it up (No homo), take it like a man and ignore her existence.
And so that’s what I attempted.
And so, to take my mind away from my computer and my past school life, I settled off with some friends (Well, actually my father’s friends from his institute - And yes, my father and my mom were also on the trip) around Portugal.
Plus, one of the ladies from the institute brought her kids (Igor and Nadia) along - Which was pretty cool, since I know them “long time” and therefore at least it wasn’t a dull trip.
It’s funny, I deal better with younger kids (They are three or four years younger than me) or sometimes with adults than with people who have my age.
So, even with boring moments, like I said above, they were some well spent weeks away from home. Plus, since I brought my airsoft guns…
… Me and Igor even made a short movie, recorded by Nadia and her mother. You can waste your time and see it subtitled in English here.
I know, it’s no Apocalypse Now.
In fact, it’s even no Hunger Games.
Yeah… It’s pretty awful, but please, take in account that it was made totally out of the random in less than a hour (We were all dinning and it was a bit like “Hey, let’s make a movie with all these airsoft guns?”) and plus none of us obviously took it THAT seriously.
It was recorded just for fun, and I thought it was upload-worthy. Why not?
And well… At least during those weeks, that was probably the highlight.
In fact, besides the trip, I can say my summer vacations were quick and terribly boring, at least before the last two weeks in Washington D.C.- BUT, I will bring that up soon.
And so, back to “my” part of Portugal, with my mind already away from Anon - I mean, I still remembered her, but I’d lost all that “interest”. When suddenly, while I was walking around Fnac…
… And it turns out that Death Note thing was actually interesting.
As uncult as this may sound, I had never read a manga before, therefore reading “black and white” comics backwards full of guys with big eyes and mouths was something new for me.
I was quickly impressed not just by the (For me who had never read something like that) amazing alternative art, but also by the fantastic plot.
Seriously, unlike I expected, there is actually more to Death Note than - According to what I knew from most of the audience before reading - “kawaii boys”. The storyline itself is unique, and in certain terms I would say it’s actually philosophical. It’s only bad that most of the, as far as I see it, deep plot of Death Note is mostly sucked away by the amount of fangirls who use it as raw material for yaoi fan “art”.
Just my point of view, of course.
Anyways, for the time I was reading Death Note, it was certainly freaking fun. The problem is… Well, Fnac actually only had 1/5 of the whole collection, which is almost nothing - And is even worse given that it is a particularly small series, since it only has 13 published books, the last one being a “How to read” bonus.
Of course, I could read them all in the internet (Like I did with the two or three first ones I didn’t found for sale in retail), but it’s obviously much cooler to have the actual printed book. And I needed some intel on a specialized mangá store.
And I’m pretty sure that Anon knew where it would be.
But if I asked her would she think I’m weirder?
I mean, last time we spoke she was OK with me, but she could still have hostility towards me and yet consider me a stalker…
Aw, screw it! I was gonna ask her for a good store, not in marriage!
So, I went to that Kingpin Books thing. It’s a comics and mangá store in Lisbon - Small (At least compared to what I’ve seen in ’MURIKA) but extremely rich in content.
I like the fact that the store is divided by comics in one of the sides and by mangas in the other. It kinda displays the general rivalry between these two “fandoms”.
I bought some more Death Note books and stacked them up for the trip to Washington I was gonna make. The summer vacations were ending and I was gonna enjoy those last two weeks in big style - By travelling to the heart of America.
Well, it was sure gonna make it up for how tremendously boring the rest of the vacations had been until then - At least compared to the last year when I visited Germany and LA.
When the day arrived, I packed my stuff and went (Of course, with my parents) to America.
First we spent some days in Philadelphia, and then we drove to Washington DC.
Among the things I did, I must mention visiting the Philadelphia aquarium and the Masonry temple, going to the amazing Smithsonian Air & Space museums (The one in D.C. and the hangar in Virginia), driving (Or well, being driven by my parents) around Washington, seeing the White House, the Washington Monument, the Pentagon, the US Capitol, do lots of shopping in awesome stores, spending the last three days on Atlantic City in New Jersey…
… And finish reading Death Note at night, after the fast paced days in the city.
By the way, in my opinion, the ending was fantastic.
So, concluding what I stated a few lines before about Death Note: Certainly an awesome manga, that also originated an awesome anime. It is short, with a simple concept and yet with one of the most creative storylines I’ve read in years.
Of course, I’m an horrible example to speak more about that, since I’m far from being an otaku, and therefore Death Note was the first and only manga I’ve read until now. I mean, yes, I’ve already read some Full Metal Alchemist and Dragon Ball in Fnac, and I also watch Pokemon, Inuyasha, Sergeant Frog and One Piece sometimes, but I’ve never been into something as appurtenant as Death Note.
But then again, besides Death Note I don’t know much more about animes and mangas, and therefore I don’t have any substantial material for compassion. I guess I liked Death Note mostly because it presents a concept much different from most plots I usually see in mangas. A revolted anti-hero, with the will to change the world and being the new “supreme master”, in a modern society… I think, far from the usual plot of animes.
Overall, awesome manga/anime. That’s the best way to sum it up. I just can’t say it got me into reading mangá, since after I finished Death Note I haven’t read any other. That may change this summer, though - I’m interested on picking up with Bleach from the beggining.
So, that was pretty much my summer vacations. Not the best, but there are people who spend it at home, so I won’t complain like an ungrateful bastard.
There was only a con…
… Among Washington, among my moments alone with the monuments, I had my periods of reflection.
Reading the Vietnam, World War 2 and Korean war memorials, seeing the Washington monument and the Lincoln Memorial made me think.
And among my random thoughts about life and existence, I also thought about Anon. For some moments.
I was, like I said before, in the heart of one of the most important nations in the modern world. An historically and culturally impressive place, there aren’t many like D.C. in the world.
Yet, instead of reflecting upon America, on it’s raw origins (As far as I like going to America, it’s a bit deceptive to think all of that was built over the blood of Indians) and on it’s importance upon the present… Instead, I thought about a girl.
Anon was yet still an intriguing person for me, even miles away from home.
Maybe I was mistaking Anon for the fictional character in Younger Warfare?
And while I was too “busy” thinking, time eventually catched up and soon I was back home. And soon, around 3 days or so, I was back to studying, in my “new fancy school”.
This wasn’t the mental seize of Anon, though.
Even in school, even sometimes during the boring moments of classes, she was stuck in my mind.
It was not like we spoke a lot. It was not like if we ever met each other in real life. I just simply, for some reason my scumbag brain won’t explain, got intrigued by her.
Specially by the fact that, according to Eunice, she went to an art school. Could that mean a “partial” artistic facet in her?
I mean… It was something curious, given that I was also interested in going to arts before I decided to follow a Humanities course. As you can see with most crap in this blog, my drawings absolutely suck - And even although I dream having a future in an artistic department (I’ve been thinking about a cinema producer), I’m pretty sure you don’t need to follow a drawing based course to do so. Also, if it was just to learn how to draw it could be cool - Yet, for what I’ve heard, arts courses are extremely restrictive, being over-rigorous and giving you little free will to express your creativity.
Correct me if I’m wrong.
Anyways, it’s not like I, even although on the time in doubt if my choice of going to Humanities was actually good, really cared about her studying arts…
*Sigh* Yes, I did.
And, like any non-vulgar idiot, I tired to have a conversation with her about that.
… What such a terrible attempt to make a conversation.
I only tried it because… Well, I guess that after she finishes the 12th grade she will be “officially” an artist, right? Therefore, by keeping in contact with her, it would be… Close to being in contact with someone inside the world of art.
Plus, I’ve also seen one of her works in DeviantART.
She sure has got talent.
In fact, I remember of even having a “job proposal” for her.
I had (And well, still have plans) to release the redux - AKA, the corrected, revised and decent version - Of my book, even if just inside my dad’s institute (Since it was already requested there) and therefore to a limited audience. I’ve already got an editor ready to print around 30 copies - Enough for the institute - And I need a stylish cover.
Sure, I could buy a good cheap child-soldiers related picture in iStock, but that’s what any sucker would do. I wanted to do something more creative. And therefore, I thought about “hiring” - And pay, if I had to - Anon to draw a cover for the book. You know, like Bianca posing in big style with her gun in her shredded clothes, over a white clear background. Something like that.
Similar to what I made above, only in a “manga-ish” style - And of course, less fat.
At least less fat than a stretched pentagon with a head, arms and legs can be.
And I would make her the proposal…
… If I had the time to do so.
Then, surprisingly, near the begging of the Christmas vacations, her Facebook page has gone.
At first I thought she had been over annoyed by that short conversation and had deleted me, but then “thankfully” after a short investigation I found out I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t access her profile - Therefore, she was gone from Facebook.
I didn’t have any sight of her around FB until the Christmas vacations arrived - That was when her new new profile miraculously showed up.
And with a good overdose of interesting likes. Even with the same bunch of animes and stuff, there was some new curious stuff.
Especially Floyd, right there in the first place on the “Music” likes list.
Of course, that meant in no way that she was actually a Floyd fan. She could have simply heard Another Brick in the Wall or Money, thought they were cool and randomly clicked the like button on Facebook’s Floyd page - Like I do sometimes with some bands.
Seriously, it doesn’t take that much knowledge to press the ”Like” button. I don’t know much more than two or three songs from some of the bands I like in Facebook.
Anyways, that sure made me curious. So, I evidently sent her a friend request and a message asking if she really liked Floyd, and waited for her eventual reply.
A bunch of days passed.
Needless to say, she refused my friend request and didn’t bother replying to my message.
Well, there went my idea for a strictly professional relationship with her.
And that was pretty much it.
She is not a big crush, neither a heart cutter. She is simply someone who left me intrigued, as I still remain until today.
I’ve got to give her credit, though - She made me change my perception upon otakus and anime.
Someone who I usually saw on the playground. Someone who certainly, like most people, didn’t tolerate my existence - Or maybe was simply annoyed by it. Possibly a dreamer, like all of us.
Maybe she is simply another crazy diamond?
… And that was it, folks! This and the previous posts were all my lonely heart stories! If anyone is actually reading me out there then hey, this boring “series” is finally over.
It doesn’t surprise me I only have 2 followers in this Tumblr. Not just its existence has been short and wasn’t expanded at all, but seriously, who the hell would like to read through hugeass posts about girls I liked?
Well, maybe the girls themselves and persons who are passing through feels similar to my feels, but then again, I’ve got no advises here for those people. Why the hell are you here, anyways?
Though, if you are expecting for interesting and not absurdly huge posts about random subjects… Now that I’ve spoken about enough girls, that’s what is coming right up next!